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Stand by Me: The Body in the Woods

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Do you guys wanna go see a dead body?

Anyone over 40 years old remembers the movie “Stand By Me,” and secretly wanted to find a dead body as a kid. Not like finding grandma dead in bed, but a legitimate stranger in the woods who died from foul play. It would be heroic, a bit morbid, but a story you could share for the rest of your life.

For me, it took 46 years to stumble on my first mystery.

I was walking through the woods along the Rock River in early January with my elkhound. (We prefer to go off the beaten path, so we can spot eagles, stumble upon beaver-ridden trees, or see other wildlife that you’d miss along the trails.) We were about one mile deep into the woods when I saw a wind-blown tent on the shore. The temperature was near zero and it was near lunch-time.

I wondered if someone was inside. There were no footprints near the tent, but there WAS a small suitecase and a garbage bag filled with beer cans that did NOT have any snow on it. Someone had either abandoned the tent early in the morning to go warm up somewhere, or there was a frozen body inside.

It was just me and the dog and I was unarmed, so I didn’t quite know what to do. Now, I’m not scared of homeless people, but startling someone living in the middle of the woods could be dangerous. He could have a gun ready to pop anyone who unzipped the tent. And yet, if there was someone inside suffering, I was the only person who could help.

After debating the decision for awhile, I decided to check it out.

“Hello?!” I called out, approaching the tent. “Hello?! I’m here to help. Is there anyone in there? Please don’t kill me.”

I shook the snow off the tent. My dog was off sniffing for squirrels.

“Hello?! Are you ok?”
I found the zipper and opened it up. There were three blankets inside with something underneath. It looked like three people curled up in the fetal position with their heads covered by the blankets.

“Oh shit, oh shit, oh shit,” I muttered as I hurried away from the tent.

Do I call the cops? Head home? It was a moral dilemma that I’d never encountered. What if he was in a coma? Perhaps he was just a heavy sleeper armed with a knife. There were so many possibilities and I wanted to do the right thing.

The dog made the decision for me. He was disinterested. That made me think the guy was either frozen stiff for days with no stench, or by some chance the tent was actually empty.

I went back to the tent. “Are you alive?” No answer.

I pulled back one of the blankets like a magician exposing a trick, my right hand shaking and ready to strike.

It was nothing but a pile of beer cans and Gatorade bottles. Whoever was living here had pulled the oldest trick in the book. Like Ferris on his day off, he piled a bunch of trash or clothes under a blanket to make it look like a person sleeping.

I sighed with relief. Rezipped the tent. And walked the dog home.

The dog would have known if someone was dead. I should have listened to him.

In the end, I felt like a 12 year old looking for a dead body. Full of fear. Full of curiosity. And was thankful it ended on a good note. The moral I learned? Face my fears to help someone, as our imaginations are usually worse than reality.

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Comments

  1. Monk Jeffery says

    Most peoples today would not have even thought about checking in on someone in any condition. It’s sad what is becoming of people today. Stand By Me is at the top of my list of favorite movies. Good sound track with friends on a adventure with test of bravery and loyalty. Like others have stated though, you just do not leave home without your firearm (for those of us who choose to carry) or at least a knife. After all you were going for a walk in the woods! But outside of that I commend you for stopping to check on fellow man. Stay safe and keep the childhood flame of adventure burning inside, but make sure you are holstered when you begin.

  2. Dayle Flynn says

    As a volunteer firefighter-AEMT, we come across dead folks all the time, whether its in their living rooms or ocassionally at camp sites, it is what it is- people die all the time and someone eventually finds them. You did right by playing it safe by announcing your presence, and I agree with others, when I go hiking in the wilds of Montana, I always take some sort of firearm along, for self protection, whether it be from the 2-leg or 4-leg variety of predators, hell, even a .22 rifle gives you some protection, and it allows you to bone up on some always much-needed target practice, without disturbing someone a mile away.

  3. Miles Gilbert says

    I found a db in the neighborhood two years ago. Decomp had begun so “I could tell by the smell it wasn’t swell.”.
    I phoned the city PD from home and met them at the site. The investigating officer was acquainted with the deceased and assumed an overdose was the cause of death. There was never a report in the newspaper or on the radio or TV.. As a retired forensic anthropologist I’ve had plenty of contact with the deceased, but still enjoy good writers like Kathy Reichs and Patricia Cornwell. No, I haven’t sen Stand By Me, and probably won’t.
    At 79 I cannot run and won’t fight, but I always carry a 1911 in condition one, and I will shoot if necessary.

  4. alan says

    One of my favorite coming of age movies. saw it in the theater when it first came out(1986) bc i liked the song. i was 17. if i could only go back id do it all over again differently, i screwed my back up in 1988 , fell on the job and now i can barely walk wo pain. id give anything to be able to walk again like those boys in the film. oh darlin darlin… the fleeting grace of health and life.

    • Monk Jeffery says

      Alan I feel your pain! I too had seen Stand By Me on the big screen. It was the first movie of the summer that I actually drove to. I had just turned 16 that March and was taking Drivers-Ed. In high school. I would join you if you could go back to do things over again! It wasn’t as soon as you but I too suffered from a back injury and running is just a distant dream. I do not think about running anymore but I do enjoy putting the dvd of Stand By Me in and live again. Stay strong in faith because you and I both will be able to run again and be pain free.

  6. michael says

    I don’t know maybe your not a gun person but I never go unarmed in the woods. now days you never know what your liable to run into. your right about the dog. if there was danger he would have let you know. still these days unfortunately are not like the 50s. people have changed. murder is a daily occurrence. its sucks but that’s the way it is.

    • William Boyd says

      You were correct in your investigation but without your gun, this was a huge risk! As you know, it’s better to have a gun and not need it than need it and not have it. One other good thing, you brought your dog, however, I have hiked in the Black Hills off trail and encountered off trail campsites and was very glad I had a 357 with a 380 for backup. Today’s world is one where I don’t boat, hunt, hike or bike alone. Too many psychopaths out looking for trouble.